Life has certainly gotten, well.. more interesting. Well, some may think I am putting it in a bad way, but trust me I am not. What is interesting is on Friday, I had signed up for my tutorials (and getting a parking ticket with it along the way), and Ms. Jana, my Law 101 lecturer was still alive and well, still joking and all. The next day, Saturday, she was involved in a rafting accident and drowned. And it had all started with a rumour…

This certainly proves 2 things: a) In Malaysia, rumours are most likely true. b) Death gets to everyone, sooner or later, tragically or comfortably (Yes, I wholeheartedly agree, though I prefer if they’d died comfortably - less complaining this way)

Obviously, news of her passing was taken by people differently. Some actually cheered, while some showed considerable amount of disbelief. Others, like Shyuing, had taken to blog a condolence post about the late Ms. Jana. There are folks who thought that she was a gem, while some others are completely non-chalent. (I remain completely as a neutral observer, a mere taker.)

Life (or Death) is rather like this (Indeed, I am part of life, and living. You don’t go through life without me.). One minute you’re there, the next, you’re gone the way of the dodo. And you’d be left wondering “huh? what happened?” (Oh, I get that a lot. People mostly do not know that they’ve died, and keep asking me this question. Kinda embarassing actually.)

Then comes the crowd of people that says : “Oh, he was a good person” and “It was such a waste“, or in the case of some evil dictator in some Middle-eastern country, people generally go “YAHOOOOOO!” and then bang! they get themselves shot up. Obviously, there’d be some people who think that it doesn’t affect them and often go “So what? Death is commonplace“. (These apathetic fools obviously has not seen me in the face. You should introduce them to me)

But really, all you leave behind is your empty body, a shell, a relic of what was. Some people say - Life is short, do what you want. And enjoy life while you can. Ironically, most of the people who say such are those who end up suffering, and regretting the actions done. Sex, drugs, rock n’ roll - some say that’s living life to the fullest. (What do you mean by living life to the fullest? What is fullest? I’ve never lived, so I do not know.)

Well, if by fullest, they mean by inflicting suffering upon themselves cruelly, I guess those who live life to the fullest by making all the “wrong” choices have succeeded. (The problem is that humans on the general look only to see pleasure in its temporary form. Never once do they look to the future, to the consequences of their very actions.)

Similarly, in facing death (it’s Death, with a capital D), many would think, either consciously or sub-consciously: “Ah, what the hell, I’m going to die anyways, might as well do what I wish“, and proceeds to wreck havoc in his/her own and other peoples’ lives. But life is usually interesting in the sense that things will never turn out to be. A healthy, active, living person like Ms Jana can turn out dead the next second, while a cancer-ridden girl next door can turn out to live for the next 60 years. (It happens more often than you think)

Death is a mystery many would like to solve. (I disagree. Only you humans are a mystery, not me) Various religions offer various explanations, ranging from heavens and hells to re-incarnations to an endless pit of darkness. It all amounts to nothing. It amounts to nothing in the sense that it doesn’t help much with the human psyche.

In facing death (it’s Death, with a capital D. Again.), painful feelings arise. And most people would choose one of two choices. They either a) indulge themselves in the painful memories or anticipate future suffering, or b) deny its existence, by doing totally different things, to distract themselves against the inevitable. Various studies have shown that amongst the critically ill, such as cancer or AIDS patients, there is a large percentage who will undergo completely new relationships. Older relationships will be broken off, and new relationships with other people will be formed. This is, in itself, a form of denial. (And most, by the time of their deaths, will regret it )

There is of course, a third choice. The third choice is not a compromise, it is neither indulgence nor is it denial. It is simple acknowledgement of the truth. In Buddhism, this is called being detached. It is a through an unbiased mind coupled with Compassion and Love, that the third choice arises. As bitterness and thoughts of pain and suffering arises, a detached mind will relate with it compassionately, and fact will be acknowledged. This is by no mean self pity. Though I mentioned Buddhism, I am very aware that other religions too, expound the very same thing in essence, though not in methods. Let not the petty things like dogma stand in the way of understanding the essence of things. It is wisdom that guides one to see the very essence.

I once knew a girl, who lived her life in self-anger and self-pity. She wouldn’t talk about her illness or her pain. And when someone would mention someone who was in a similar position as her, she would immediately defend herself, and tell off the person to “not compare herself with others,” because “no one can understand her situation“. Such is the bitterness in her that it stressed her to a point where she had to check into the hospital for stress. Little would she know she would face even worse news. She was later diagnosed with the final stage of cancer. She took an about-turn at that point of time. Breaking off with her boyfriend, she simply slept around. When even her mother tried to take a concern in her, she would brush her mother off, citing that the boys she was with would never stress her. But along the way, she had grown deeper and deeper into her own quagmire of the mind, and finally into paranoia. She started suspecting everyone as a stalker that is planning to kill her. So, with her delusion in her mind (and refusing to accept anyone who points it out), she pushed all good advice away, and laid wreck to her life and her family’s life. She found temporary comforts in friends who would say that she is right, and that she is not deluded. (Towards her end, K found her self to be full of regret. She told me that herself)

Then there was another, of similar case with the previous girl. With a different attitude. She was one of strong faith (she was a christian), and had the wisdom to know the difference between people who stressed her, but bearing the truth, and people who didn’t stress her, but not bearing any good. She was self-pitious too, then along the way, she met a few friends whom she called a Godsend. Undoubtedly, they stressed her in the beginning, but in finality, she went away in a more peaceful manner. (Yes, she was what I meant by dying comfortably. No complaints at all)

I don’t usually bring in faith in my posts, because I find them a little triffling. But it does indeed help to those who are facing death or death (it’s Death, with a capital D. Once Again.) of a closed one. Only most recently, I told someone that her God may speak to her directly, if she quietened down and listened. Or he may show up disguised as a friend, that neighbor, that teacher, or someone you don’t know at all - who gives that one single good advice that will change your life. If only you’d quiten down and listen, not to your own deluded thoughts, but with wisdom. It is the same for Buddhists. It is generally believed that Buddhas and bodhisattvas can manifest people to give aid to those in need, and advices can come as simple as a single sentence uttered in advice.

I have far digressed from the topic of a life more interesting. Personally, I feel those who choose to better humanity, or to lessen the burdens and sufferings of others in facing their very own deaths (For the last time, it’s Death, with a capital D.), and being cheery, accepting of the fact, have indeed lived a better, more full life than others. While those who indulge in selfish pleasures, wrecking everything around them, causing much suffering to themselves and others… I think they’re fools. (So do I) Life is interesting. So do everything you do to the best effort possible. You never know if it’s your last. And oh, please do the “right” things, and not something illegal or something with terrible consequences.

Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know that in a universe so full of wonders they have managed to invent boredom?

It’s been a long post. It took about 40 minutes to get what I wanted to say. And now it’s time to end this post. Ta- and good night.

Note: The sentences written in Small Caps (and usually in parenthesises) are quotes by Death, a.k.a the Grim Reaper, who’s fiddling with things on my desk. Again. Opinions by Death do not necessarily reflect my opinions, nor does it reflect the opinion of Antworten zum Universum (Oh, quit it with the disclaimers already)

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