Hello everyone.

I am Tungku Ad-none, Minister of Let’s-Go-on-a-Tour!. Firstly, I’d like to clarify something. I was misquoted, by bigotted and biased Chinese newspaper. Today I am here to re-iterate: Bloggers are INDEED liars. But first, let’s deal with the pesky perverted Chinese newspaper. You see, this is what usually happens: I speak my speech in glorious ol’ Bahasa Melayu, (which proves the superiority of my language), but your Chinese papers like Sin Chew Jit Poh have to translate into other pathetic languages like Chinese. I don’t care so much about your language, because it lacks the keagungan of Bahasa Melayu. What happens when I speak in Bahasa Melayu and you translate into pathetic Chinese is obviously a problem with translation. It is not my fault. I was misquoted. I said bloggers are liars.

Because that is true. Bloggers are bloody liars. And don’t you go misquote me on that! I speaka in Ingrish this time! Bloggers dislike unity (whoa.. I used a Big Word here… DISLIKE is a big word). Even as I speak now, I bet some idiot blogger will be writing political nonsense about what I speak. Because bloggers are liars. And Chinese papers too are liars.

They simply quote me. Errors in translations. You see, I think all Indians are murderers, that’s why I specifically mentioned that “Malays will kill Chinese, Chinese will kill Malays, and Indians will kill everyone else”. I am only protecting my fellow bumiputera rights! If you comment on it, ISA!

Sin Chew Jit Poh got me wrong. I am not against bloggers. I just happen to be an extremely violent sexist. You see, I think females should keep their mouths shut. I think Sin Chew Jit Poh and all other Chinese newspapers should be shut down because they spread radical untruths! You can even tell by the name! Sin Chew Jit Poh as it suggests, is full of SIN! Will you read a paper that is full of sinful things? I got proof that Sin Chew Jit Poh are lying. Why? Do you see other papers saying what I say? No right? Then why you believe sinful stuff?

Bloggers should be banned, because they are liars!

Bloggers! Pi ISA skarang!

Note: The above was a dramatization of what could happen. Not many people read my blog, not the least, Tengku Adnan (name spelt correctly), so he won’t get the idea from my blog.

I read this news from Elizabeth Wong’s blog, and I took some time sleeping (I’m a little sick), before ranting out on my blog on the same matter.

As you can see, I’m a little frustrated over these nonsensical statement politicians make. Some time ago, I posted I Blog, Therefore I Lie. Well… apparently the ministers cannot let the issue rest. Many have speculated what Tengku Adnan would do - creative suggestions ranging from the “I’ve been Misquoted!!!” to “That was my twin brother”.

But if I were a politician like Tengku Adnan, I’d put all the blame on Sin Chew Jit Poh, and attempt to close it down, or sue it for defamation, because it would serve 2 purposes -

1. To strengthen my own political power (amongst the Malays), because I’d be seen championing the rights of Malays
2. Saying “I’m Sorry” would only mean that I was wrong.

Well, be glad that I am not a UMNOputra .

Of course I wouldn’t put it past Tengku Adnan to do such things, therefore, I have before hand, screenshotted Sin Chew Jit Poh’s article on this news. Malaysia is famous for suddenly disappearing newspaper articles. You can view the screenshots here: Screenshot 1 | Screenshot 2

Oh, in case you’re wondering about the senselessness of the above dramatization, it isn’t senseless. I got inspiration from Shag’s Logical Fallacy Bingo. I merely followed almost all the logical fallacies in it. Heck, if our ministers can use logical fallacies, why not people like us, who look up to them ministers daily?

Okay, okay… back to the real world. Let’s identify what Tengku Adnan said wrong:

1. He said “According to my understanding…” [this was not translated in Elizabeth’s blog]
   My question: How much exactly do you understand about blogs and the internet? Enough to tell you that bloggers are liars?
2. 8000 out of 10000 unemployed bloggers are females.
   My question: Where the hell did you get the figures??? Technorati? ACNielsens? Wha-???
3. “Bloggers do not like to see our citizens united”
   My question: based on what figures and facts? Even if you aggregate bloggers, only a handful talk politics. And out of these handful, only a few are anarchistic. Others are consistently critical of the government, which is good, because that way, you have someone keeping an eye on them
4. “Malays will kill Chinese, Chinese will kill Malays in return, and Indians will kill everyone”
   My question: does it seem that he is extremely biased against Indians? Should such a violent person even be minister?
5. “We must show the world our true good face… there will be no wars” [Not translated in Elizabeth’s blog]
   My question: What is truth? If you grind the universe down to the smallest atom, to the smallest molecule, will you be able to find a molecule of Truth? (I use an equally illogical example )
6. “The bloggers are creating a wrong impression of the country by writing anything under the sun without getting the proper facts and figures,” [from theStar]
   My questions: And ministers don’t? What about the 10000 bloggers thingy?

Tengku Adnan is no fool. I can tell you that. Why else would he be so snide to include the word “unemployed”? Because the general public has the impression that unemployed people are generally troublemakers. One word, has the power to change impressions. He added many words. He is implying that bloggers are troublemakers on the general. People who have read my old blog (deleted due to hacker attacks) will know that he has applied many rules of disinformation within this speech, by using many many little words that normal people deem unimportant.

Why does he use 8000 out of 10000, and not 80%? Because 8000 commands more attention than 80%. Why use unity as a topic? Because he wants to strengthen his own political strength. He has an agenda, saying what he says. All politicians do. And if his agenda is indeed to strengthen his political strength, then I wouldn’t doubt he’d comment as such in my above parody of his possible reply.

Edit: JerryWho has a better translation than mine. So read his translation. And I’ve also updated the sentence structures and added a few points. And a few of my chinese reading friends did really come up with some… interesting retorts.

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