This post is to humor Shyuing, who’s been going through hell (I assume) studying for her Macroeconomics.
We Chinese have a custom called Qing Ming (清明). It is akin to All Souls’ Day in the west. Qing Ming is a time for us Chinese to honor our dead ancestors, tend to the graves of the departed and so on and so forth. That is of course, assuming that the dead ancestors are buried, and not cremated or something else. Anyways, Qing Ming is primarily a day to remember the dead, for us Chinese who value our customs (but that’s totally another issue). Qing Ming was last week.
Anyways, during Qing Ming, those who stick to old Chinese customs will tend to burn money for the dead, for their continued usage in the afterlife, a.k.a Hell. These money of course, are not real money. These money are known as Hell notes, or Hell Money (Which by the way, caused the Chinese to start using paper money in ancient times). For more information on hell notes, Wikipedia has an article on it, while Randall J. van der Woning has a very well-written article on hell notes. (It’s odd when a Caucasian writes a good article on Chinese customs, where as Chinese sources are severely lacking)
Accordingly, the denominations vary from H$10 (H$ = Hell Dollars) to H$8 billion, per note. Now, let’s find out if inflation happens in hell.
First, some assumptions:
- There is no Federal Reserve in Hell (though some notes may indicate so) to control money supply.
- The surface worlders (that’s people who’re living, like you and maybe me) control money supply every year, by us determining how much Hell notes are burnt.
- In accordance to the Laws of Thermodynamics of Hell, everyone eventually goes to hell.
- With a world death rate of 8.67 deaths/1000 people, and a world population increasing, there logically should be more people dying.
- Hence, the population in hell also increases exponentially (in accordance to the Laws of Thermodynamics of Hell) over time.
- However, it must be noted that the death rate is dropping yearly in the past century.
- The rules of normal economics apply in hell (i.e when there is an increase in money supply, the price level drops)
Classical dichotomy cannot apply – simply because there isn’t any physical units for measurement of real value.- Classical dichotomy applies – new fangled technology has allowed the souls in Hell to own cars, and physical items.
- There is production in Hell. This comes from the Chinese proverb “有钱能使鬼推磨” (translation: When you have money, even the devil will do the work for you), proving that there is production in Hell.
- Production increases linearly with time, due to improved capitals available in Hell.
- Velocity of money is constant over the last 10000 years
- Hell has a dead economy (i.e it’s closed – no trades with Heaven or other realms)
- Hell doesn’t have M2, it only has M1 – i.e currencies, cheques and credit cards.
- No such things as Interest Rates (There is no central bank)
- No such things as wages (souls in Hell are condemned to work for free forever)
- The only source of money is from the surface worlders.
OKay then. Let’s get to work.
Basic Monetary Concepts
First off – price level is affected by the supply of money. The larger the supply of money, the higher the price level (hence lower value, 1/P)
Now, logically speaking, if the number of souls keep increasing, the demand for money will shift to the right as well. And over time, the demand will shift to the right exponentially (i.e bigger gaps each time)
But consider these facts:
- Humans are burning more money – money supply increases exponentially with time
- Demand increases linearly together with production, like all modern societies
Wait… there seems to be some contradiction here, no? Here they are:
- With the exponential increase in souls in Hell, the demand should increase exponentially as well
- But demand increases linearly together with production in a traditional sense.
Oh okay… to make things simple, let’s assume that the total demand is linearly increasing, due to the fact that people are not dying (and hence entering Hell) fast enough to warrant a very huge exponential increase in demand.
So, we’re back to these two premises:
- Humans are burning more money yearly – money supply increases exponentially with time
- Demand however, increases only linearly with time.
This would mean, the supply of Hell Notes would outstrip the demand in time. If we soully solely use the Quantity Theory of Money, that would mean the value of the Hell Notes would drop over time.
Mathematically:
MV = PY,where M = Quantity of Money, V = Velocity of Money, P = Price Level of the Money, Y = Output of Production
When M increases, P increases. When P increases, the Value, 1/P, drops.
So What?
This means inflation is happening in Hell. In fact, a hyper-inflation is happening over there. There is even evidence!
Many years ago, I don’t remember seeing anything as large as a H$ 8 billion note. The largest I ever saw about 10 years back (that was about the last time I saw Hell Notes) was about H$1000. And now, there is a H$ 8 billion note. Talk about inflation!
Heck, during the time of the Ancient Greeks, the value of money is even larger – All they ever did was to burn 2 silver coins (placed on the eyes of the dead) and that’s all. Hmm.. maybe the super extravagant Egyptian Pharaohs and the Chinese Emperors initiated the inflation by bringing along with them so much money.
I guess, with so much hyper-inflation going on, it must really be hell to live in Hell.
Unanswered Questions
There are many unanswered questions – such as: how did the hyperinflation happen. Then there are serious economic questions regarding real output (what the heck?), interest rates (no Federal Reserve there), aggregate demands of the souls in Hell, unemployment and etc; how did inflation in Hell begin?; is there even trade of goods happening in Hell in the first place?… and so much more. Afterall, this is a very very simplified model of reality (heck, I only used the quantity theory of money, when there are so many more theories to inflation)
If you can answer this, you’re either someone very spiritual (like G_d), or you are the next John Maynard Keynes. Hmm.. come to think of it, if the theory of the Thermodynamics of Hell is correct, and everyone goes to Hell, he probably is there trying to inform the Authorities that more control need to be exerted in money circulation.
So, what do you think of inflation in Hell? Insert your comment below, and let us all have a jolly discussion.
So when we get to hell, we should run an zero inflation campaign! Everyone pay the devil to go sleep all day! So, we pay the devil continuously a a certain rate, so that we can have a less hellish hell, less money, and more people to enjoy hell.
(cfgt is aware of the seriously flawed logic, but he has had only 4 hours of sleep, so don’t complain.)
I remember that this thread in LYN almost burst into flames(pardon the pun) because someone started questioning the thread-starter.
I’m surprised you didn’t make the distinction between Western Hell and Chinese Hell.
Western (or in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic sense) is the place sinners go to rot. Whereas Chinese Hell is where ALL souls go to once they die.
So is the comparison valid then?
my friend, what if there’s a heaven, with no currency? =D
cfgt: You actually made sense. Less money in Hell would mean Hell would have less inflation, hence more enjoyable. But that would defeat the purpose of Hell, no? I had only 3 hours of sleep (ask ken and jien- I started telling them stupid things lol)
Aoshi: LOL. And now I am going to promote there.
ayjk: Actually, the whole premise that every soul goes to hell is from the Laws of Thermodynamics of Hell. Since there are more than one religion in the world that proclaims “you will go to hell if you are not in x religion”, and people cannot profess more than one religion, so, eventually everyone goes to hell.
Example- The Christians say “If you are not Christian, you will go to hell”. The Muslims say the same. Since you cannot be Christian and Muslim at the same time, you will still go to hell.
Abel: Everyone goes to hell. God is alone in Heaven, playing chess with Chewxy. And there IS currency in Heaven. It’s Tea. And J_H_V_H owes Ch_wxy lots of tea (from last night’s Poker-Mahjong).
Death.
I don’t ever recall God having enough free time to play chess.
Haha. Who’s to say there’s no central bank? I’m sure all the (ex-)bankers would be pretty bored.
God is omnipresent, that is he can be at multiple points in space-time and non space-time at once. It is a common fault of the religious folk to be state that God is omnipresent yet describe the things he does a step at a time. He is also omnipotent and omniscient, he has already played all possible chess matches, and can play all chessmaters that ever lived at once and still win. Chewxy doesnt stand a chance. But the religious folks believe in him. After all, they also have egalitarian tendencies, if just wouldnt be fair for God to win all the time, it is not Good. Yet God can play the same match simultaneosly with all possible outcomes. This is after all, supernatural logic.
cfgt: Not with you. He’s too caught up playing with me. And you owe me 20 000 Teas as well.
Miss: Actually, the bankers are the rich ones there. Ex bankers and ex investors. The worst off are the lawyers.
Zcer: Remember what I told you about chess? It’s pointless to play. Isn’t it also possible that I’ve seen all possible chess matches and all possible outcomes of the game, and yet still play? When time is compressed to a single dot, and past, present and future is one, everything is as one. Don’t ask. It’s supernatural logic. Ask, and you are blephesmizing. And you will go to hell.
There’s one problem with that. I don’t gamble or bet. How would I end up owing you any Teas?
I dunno. G_d said so. I asked him for the 20k Teas he owed me, he told me to collect from you. LOL.
p/s: I think our lack of sleep has caused lots of insanity
Well, obviously God has some explaining to do when I get back to Heaven then.
Or maybe it’s you who will have some explaining to do.
I’ll be playing mahjong with 3 other versions of Chewxy. So see you then.
Edit: gosh… I can see myself playing mahjong with 3 other mes… it’ll be endless rounds of triple-quadruple guessing.
I know how a Magic tournament against many of my own selves will turn out. Stressful, hours long, and every iteration of me will be dead tired although the spectators won’t be.
Hey, we should get Magic Workstation to record each of our plays, and we play over 1000 times, log a statistical distribution of cards played and then write an AI script to play against ourselves using the stat distribution. We’ll see how long it takes to complete 1 game.
I’ll use the 320 card deck. LOL
I know how it’ll end. I defeat you 1000 times, and the AI has no clue how to beat me. (cfgt’s ego has gained a level!)
Hey… that deck has a 1 in 20 chance of winning
Interesting post.
Here are some comments.
To the Judeo-Christian-Muslim hell concept. The outcome will be largely similar to the Chinese theory seeing that most Judeo-Christian-Islamic doctirine asserts that there is but one God and everyone who is wrong goes to hell. Granted, one of the groups proclaiming such may be right and some souls DO go to heaven. However, this naturally means that everyone else is wrong and goes to hell which is closely enough approximated by the statement that everbody goes to hell.
As for the “hell does have a central bank” assumption, I can say that this is highly dubious because at this year’s ching bing, central banks WERE AVAILABLE to be burnt and sent to the afterlife!
This changes the entire argument significantly because now we have not one but MANY central banks which presumably would subdivide hell into “hell nations” which each have their own currency and treasury/credit controls.
disclaimer: personally, it sounds like hell is starting to sound a lot like earth… Which leads met o think that heaven would be a much better place to be after this life and it would probably be a more effective use of my time to search for that “correct” way to heaven.
Don’t the Hell Notes have a picture of Bank of Hell on the back? Hence, isn’t there the equivalent of the Fed there? Of course, the devil sets the interest rates.
Notsneaky: Not all Hell Notes have the Bank of Hell on the back. Some have.. really strange stuff.