I am Italian (and I can hear my dad shouting “HOW CAN YOU JUST ABANDON YOUR CHINESE HERITAGE!!!!!”). Unlike the time I claimed I was Irish (which was for no reason other than to hear my dad shout the above, which he again, didn’t…), I have a good reason for claiming to be Italian this time round.
You see, in the house I am living in, we consume lots of Italian food. A LOT.
How much you ask? Lucky for you, I’ve been keeping track. Since I arrived 13 weeks ago, my housemates and I have in total consumed (and thrown away - I count by how many bottles we throw away) 32 bottles of pasta sauce (and that’s the count for pasta alone. I sadly didn’t keep track of how many pizzas we make, or how much mozarella cheese we buy; or how much minestrone soup we cook.)
32 bottles of pasta in 13 weeks! That’s a whopping average of 2.46 bottles per week!
Roughly 68.75% of the pasta sauce consumed is Dolmio. The other 31.25% is an occasional Leggo’s or Prego (mine, or Cat’s)
If anything, this is the reason why Dolmio should sponsor us. Hey, guys at Dolmio! If you are interested, you may contact me here: 
Now, I don’t usually buy Dolmio (I’m more of a Prego guy, but it’s so hard to find Prego here, I just buy Leggo’s), but yesterday, I bought my first Dolmio. Why? So that my weekly shopping would cost a nice round $35 (Dolmio was going for $2.05 at Coles, while Leggo was at $3.95).
Here’s my Dolmio:
Besides being an awesome example of good lighting in photography, this photograph also contains very subtle product placement for Coke Zero and Dell Computers, Intel Centrino Duo and Microsoft Windows Vista as well as Emerald Insight, who have been providing me wonderful economics journal articles.
And we all know why I bought the Dolmio in the first place. It’s not for the nice $35 rounding… and it sure as hell is not because of these very subtle product placements:
I dunno. Something tells me that I’ve been watching too much Hot Fuzz (watched it 3 times this month). Now I’m off to get some Kellog’s Special K and Choco Pops for brekky.
Righto. After brekky I’m off to watch Bad Boys II and Point Break. Maybe with a Cornetto or two. 
Cool?
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How in the world can you consume Leggo’s pasta sauce? It’s horrid at best. The few times I did buy it, I threw it out. None of the other brands (not even Campbell’s - which isn’t known for pasta sauce) comes close to being as awful as Leggo’s.
Campbell’s is known for pasta sauces. They make something called… Prego which I happen to like.
Let’s see… Leggo’s carbonara is nice, Neapolitana is horrid, and so is their Boglonaise (and the one with red wine smells as if its gone off). Pasta bakes - extremely bad.
Hmm.. If Dolmio tastes better, then I may switch.
But you forgot to name something worse tasting - Coles Smart Buy pasta sauce. It tastes fake. Even ALDI’s home brand taste better than Coles’ (not to mention way cheaper too)
Yep, Dolmio is cool. By the way, I’m sure I saved your number on my phone, but somehow keeps disappearing. That explains why I didn’t know you sent me that message this morning.
You haven’t been around me long enough to find out what other weird things your phones can do to you.
My old phones don’t last very long. They usually die of some form of quirk (like sending messages to the wrong person, whiting out, jumbling up numbers in the phone book, listing multiple names)
Ahhh…. A Prego’s man. I’m not partial to any, i just eat.
Hot Fuzz was funny. Brit humor funny.
But surely your tastebuds must discern!
Impossible for them to do an about turn.
As why I’m limericking shouldn’t you concern
For sleep, I very much yearn
Fact ’tis that I can’t reply a return
Gramatically everything’s a churn.
Perhaps now I should adjourn
For sleep is important, many learn.
I shall read Jules Verne!
From cover to cover I shall burn!
Oh dear with myself I’m not very stern
Oh no, but I don’t want to get a heartburn!
Thus farewell and goodnight my friendly fern,
I’m sorry, but you I must spurn
Good sleep I have earned,
And to Good Sleep I shall return.
For if sleep I spurn
Into a mad man I turn,
A limerick, a rhyme, not a taciturn,
At every corner, at every turn.
And thus I adjourn
Else longer this limerick shall turn.
And my mind shall go to Berne
And visit the CERN
And so without a worldly concern
To somnolence I return.
I must really end this poetry of kern
And now I really make no sense - definitely not an upturn.
As in here, they sell canned sauce under the Campbell name, not the Prego name. As for home brands - quality tends to be low, otherwise it wouldn’t be so cheap. Of course,that being said, if you can tell the difference between different brands of white sugar and table salt, you have got to be crazy.
I just told apart ALDI’s home brand and Coles’. Dear Dr. Phil, am I Mad (with a Capital M)?
Chewxy, your madness was established like a decade ago.
I am not surprised.
cfgt:
Hmm really? My word, time does fly. Time to dye my hair white and make it all Doc Brown like
Aoshi:
You should be. Someone with an IQ of 180 and 53 (the lower one was just a failed attempt to lower the national average) usually are mad
On other news, the Dolmio basil bolognaese smelt like sweat. And is a bit salty
Yeah, i must say that our house is a Dolmio house! I use (or used to use) about 1 bottle a week! Try the ‘extra garlic’ that one is good….i mean, really, really good. Addicted? Yeah, maybe.
You are what you eat, right? =)
LOL, yea, Missy, we’re what we eat.