I watched AvP:R two days ago. And in the span of two days, I made a video review of it. I’ve been planning this video since before I started the Headcrab Zombie chronicles. The only reason why I didn’t do it then is the same reason why the video is a bit crappy.

Anyways, watch the video review:

Technical Information and trivia:

• The tracking of the facehugger was done almost entirely by computer.
• Which is why there are some parts where the tracking doesn’t match - because my eyes move.
• The most challenging part is of course the chestburster scene where the headcrab jumps out.
• The reason why this was shot day-for-night is because there are some parts where the facehugger didn’t track well. Shooting it day-for-night hides the flaws.
• It is physically impossible for Bacall (that’s my headcrab) to jump out of the body, because a typical headcrab like Bacall is 2 feet long.
• The reason why my voice slurred is because I did the dubbing on my bed after I woke up this morning.
• And the canned laughter is added to help those who didn’t watch my previous vodcast.

Now, for the lengthy, wordy review of AvP:R…

AvP:R is not worth a watch. Here’s why:

First Impression
My first impression of AvP2 was “wow.. finally, a return to roots”, as the early scenes were set in the jungle. Alas, this first impression is quick to fade. 20 minutes into the film, and already I’m glancing at my watch.

Story
What story? Or rather, the story isn’t developed at all. With a barebone premise (PredAlien is born, Predator hunts it, humans caught in between), there is nothing to shout about the story. Indeed, it is no different from a video clip of random people being killed by random xenomorphs for any random reason.

There are no character developments that made any point in the story. Even the supposed relationship between Ricky and Jessie was poorly expanded upon. It feels like the director made up the relationship hurriedly, as an excuse for Ricky to get angry at the Predator (which wasn’t even expanded upon either).

Let me put it this way: Even the senseless Alien Ressurection was better than this in terms of story. And yes, the first AvP movie is most definitely better than this one, both in terms of story and execution.

The Good
Xenomorphs. They just look so cool. And the Predator. And the PredAlien. And the appearance of a Ms. Yutani at the very end. Other than that, it all sucks.

The Bad
When the whole cinema laughs at the scene where the facehugger attacks the boy, its a sign that the movie is bad. This movie felt like an extended video clip of blood and gore and nothing more. Compare this to this original Alien or Predator - those movies were filled with chills and thrills, but AvP2 clearly fails at that. You can see that the directors were trying hard to make is scary, but failed ultimately. It was boring, and it was uninspiring. A good thriller fills one’s head with imaginations of what’s coming up next, but in this movie, my imagination went into a coma.

The Brothers Strause, please repeat after me: blood, gore and violence does not equate to scary. The Shining did it with minimal blood and gore.

Also, the PredAlien and Predator looked so similar in their closeup silhouettes, that often times, I got mistaken between the two of them. And speaking of close-ups, what is it with so many close-up and tight shots? Without much light, it was pretty damn difficult to discern between Predator and PredAlien. An occasional wide shot would be helpful, as the PredAlien has a tail, and most certainly will help the audience identify the character. But did it happen? Nope.

This movie seems to go for a lot of shock value which devalues after time (i.e. the audience gets desensitized), which makes it ultimately, a poor movie. Also, the movie tries to be an ensemble film, but fails to focus on characters appropriately. In the end, it makes the audience lose focus.

The Ugly
At the end, this movie is a zero sum movie. If this movie ever had a tagline similar to the previous one, it’d be - whoever wins, they still lose. Ugh. Makes me feel cheated.

Conclusion
Don’t bother with this show. It was a waste of money. I didn’t even compare much with any precedent movies, because this clearly is in its own inferior class. 4/10. (4 because of the awesome looking xenomorph and Predator and PredAlien models. Otherwise it’s a 2/10). I only reviewed this because it’s one of those rare wide releases that Australia ever gets.

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