Love

Aha! Long time since I last posted. That’s because I had 2 very crazy assignments. I finished the last one in less than 12 hours, when most people take a month to do. Hah, beat that folks.

Anyways, I’ve long wanted to write on this topic, since the last incarnation of my blog actually, but never got round to writing it. But since Hangmen so graciously rickroll’d me in one of my previous posts, I thought I’d sit down and write an article about this.

Well, I’ll start off with a question a blog commenter once asked me: what do I think about love?

Nothing much really. I admit its an important part of my life. Very, but I don’t think very much of it. What is love to me then?

Personally, I don’t think my idea of love is the same as most people’s. Then again, with each unique intepretation of the concept of love, I doubt if anyone’s is the same. I think when you love a person, you don’t want that person to go thru bad things, and you try as much as possible to prevent bad things from happening to that person. You want the best for that person, you want that person to be genuinely happy. There is no reason, no motive for it, except that care for that person.

There is a girl I really really love. Let’s call her PS for now. We went through a very great time together, PS and I. Then there was a fall out. She and I had different concepts of what it means to care for her. She requested I leave and denied to herself that we ever had anything. And so I did. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. I gave her what she wanted – if my presence or memory of me makes her unhappy, best leave her to make her happy. But any time she ever needs me, I’ll always be there for her. It can be 100 years into the future, but I’ll still be there.

At this point, people usually go ‘dude… move on‘. Well, thats where most people got it wrong I suppose. I moved on . My rule is simple: I am there only when she wants me. A word, and I’m there by her side. Otherwise, I go along doing my stuff.

It’s that simple. Love is without attachment. Only when you can let someone go, and yet you still sincerely care about the person’s well being, can you say you’re in love without attachment. Otherwise, its just tainted with selfish attachment.

To me, love is incorruptible. It can be mixed with feelings of attachment (you know, the “I so want xxx to be here right now” or the “I miss xxx…” ), but it cannot be corrupted. True love always prevails. It’s like a marathon, not a hundren metre sprint. You can’t corrupt that feeling of love for a person – the feeling that you want that person to be happy, even if it means its to your own disadvantage. That feeling that says “I want xxx to feel the best of her life, be the happiest she can be”. Even if it kills you to make her happy, you’d do it on your own. That’s true love, and that’s incorruptible. That’s how I feel about some peoples in my life (think my family members, PS, Xingyi, etc).

Personally, I think that many people’s idea of love is somewhat distorted by their sense of personal want (for a lack of batter words). Open your hearts and open your minds. And this is looking at you, guy-living-upstairs. Give her space.

I won’t admit that I haven’t been through phases of attachment to PS. I did. Way too many times. But after a series of introspection (I do that quite a lot), I realized that my attachment to her will not give her peace of mind, neither will it give her happiness, so I took off. Yes, even I am susceptible to that occasional attachment (which quite often leads to a few impulse purchases – one of which I will talk about in the next blog post). But yes. I still love PS, and my stance is as stated as above – as soon as she needs me and voices it, I’ll be there. Otherwise, I stay away.

Ah well, move along now – I’ve gotta pack some stuff. Tell me what you think about love ya?