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Antworten zum Universum

August 18th, 2008 at 8:28 am

Former White (Bread) Supremacist Goes Multigrain

AUSTRALIA - In a dramatic turn of events, former Crustum Candidus Clan chief, Chewxy, has made a 180 degree about-turn and declared the evils of white (bread) supremacy, following sales of discounted multigrain bread in national retailing leader, Coles.

The former Great Lion of the Clan explains that the fact that the multigrain bread going for almost a dollar cheaper than the usual brands of white bread he buys is a major factor in his defection of the Clan. Mr. Chewxy did not specify if other factors were affecting his choice.

Chewxy\'s 9-Grain Bread
Chewxy’s 9 Grain Bread”

“The fact that the 9-grain bread I have chosen to buy being almost a dollar cheaper than the usual Mighty White bread I buy has finally brought me to my senses. I thought to myself - if the 9-Grain bread were so much cheaper, I would get more value for money.”, the former white bread supremacist said, when interviewed. He also added that at this point in time, white bread supremacy is “an utter waste of money”.

Reaction from current Clansmen ranged from disbelief to anger. Many think that this recreancy requires rapid remedy.

“There is no way you can be the Grand Lion of the CCC for one moment and then defect and embrace the multi-grain bread the next”, says a Clansman who was masked and only gave his initials as T.V.

“I can guarantee you that some lynching is due to happen”

Another Clansman, who was also masked and gave his name only as C.F.G.T says that it’s all part of a major conspiracy baked up by the media to mislead people.

“You see, it’s all… part of the plan” he said, while waving his hands in circles wildly.

The former Crustum Candidus Clan chief, Chewxy, however, denied such accusations.

“What rubbish. I believe I have found my true loaf with this multi-grain bread.” he said. He also adds that he is poly-epicurean and consistently eats three to four pieces at one go. “Plus, its good for my alimentary tract”, he adds.

The Pie, another under-represented pastry
The pie is another under-represented minority in the pastry industry.

His actions have widely been hailed as the first steps in better intertoastal relationship. However, some are cynical about this.

“While we welcome this wonderful vvicissitude, we will watch, and make sure its not just a temporary whim or fancy,” says Martha Ophelia Ma, spokeswoman of the Centre for Equal Leavening, an anti-white bread supremacy group which promotes the equal consumption of different grained baked goods.

Mr. Chewxy cofounded the Crustum Candidus Clan in the early 1970s, and has been a staunch supporter of white bread since. The name literally means White Breadcrumbs Clan in Latin.

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12
  • 1

    And hence, let the reference count begin!

    Chewxy on August 18th, 2008 at 8:51 am
  • 2

    Brilliant!

    ayjk on August 18th, 2008 at 11:34 am
  • 3

    Tip Top eh. I’m a fan of Helga’s brand of bread now. :P

    cfgt on August 18th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
  • 4

    cfgt: Yah.. Aryan bread ftw

    Chewxy on August 19th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
  • 5

    Haha. I wonder who T.V is.

    Tubby on August 19th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
  • 6

    Dunno… these Clansmen are quite secretive. They have their own codewords like ACIA and stuff. Also they have like Grand Warlocks and Grand Lions

    Chewxy on August 20th, 2008 at 2:15 am
  • 7

    Breadist!

    ~hashie

    hashie on August 20th, 2008 at 2:48 am
  • 8

    Interesting point of view. I’ll consider changing my mind about this but for now I still don’t see things the same way you do.

    Brian Owens on August 24th, 2008 at 2:43 am
  • 9

    White flour! Sieg bread!

    Hangmen on August 29th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
  • 10

    LOL. I switched back to white bread this week

    Chewxy on August 29th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
  • 11

    Why did yo switch back to white bread? I love bread with grains =D But over here in Malaysia, it’s so expensive =(

    Xingyi on August 30th, 2008 at 12:33 am
  • 12

    Coz Mighty White was going on sale?

    Chewxy on September 2nd, 2008 at 5:17 pm

 

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