I’m down with a cold now, and doing my assignments. So while I was watery-eyed and blowing my nose, my housemate admonished me for being such a tree killer. Instead, he said, I should use a handkerchief. Now, blowing snot on a piece of cloth and putting it back into your pocket is a very gross thing to me. But I was thinking, what other gross things you can do with a handkerchief?

I found a site that lists the uses of a handkerchief, and here is my list, ordered by grossness levels, when putting it back in your pocket:

1. Anything from mopping up a non-sticky, non-icky non-floor surface – as long as it doesn’t stick to the hanky
2. Tears
3. Chloroform (when using it to kidnap other people)
4. Own sweat
5. Saliva (possible sources could be because the hanky has been used as a gag – hey, read the site yourself!)
6. Own blood
7. Food and drinks (from mopping up)
8. Other people’s food and drinks (from mopping up)
9. Any food and drinks mopped up from the floor
10. Anything else from the floor
11. Other people’s blood
12. Other people’s sweat
13. Own snot
14. Other people’s snot
15. Anyone’s semen or vaginal secretions

For me, I’ll stick to using tissue paper.

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