I did say this was. What happened? Men in Black happened. Orion’s belt was a cat’s collar. The cat being Orion took the charm out of stars for a while (though the thought of a universe being a bauble on the cat’s  collar tickles me . . . → Read More: Orion]]> This was my favourite star constellation when I was younger:

I did say this was. What happened? Men in Black happened. Orion’s belt was a cat’s collar. The cat being Orion took the charm out of stars for a while (though the thought of a universe being a bauble on the cat’s  collar tickles me still).

When I look up at these stars, I imagine, billions upon billions of flaming balls. Each of them possibly has planets surrounding it, the laws of gravity working perfectly, each of the planets and satellites sitting in their own gravitational well, sinking in with each round made. Every star out there, burning a high heat by means of fusion. Fusion that converts lighter, simpler elements out there like hydrogen into heavier elements like oxygen and carbon. Every twinkling star, a massive furnace that throws out heat and light. I stand in awe in nature’s awesomeness.

This is not an example of gravitational lensing, unfortunately. This is merely a lens flare. Shot with a 30 second exposure, look at all the stars. Some of these weren’t even picked up by the human eye. Most of these stars are too far away, the light we’re seeing from these stars are very old. We’re looking at the universe’s history, be it stars that are a year away from us, or a few centuries away from us. Sometimes you can’t help but to just wonder, how many of these stars we see are in actuality, dead and gone, leaving behind its legacy – new planets and new stars? How many have evolved life?

Everyday, out there somewhere in the universe, at least a star dies, and a star is born. From within the furnaces of supernovas, heavier elements are forged, and when the stars go supernova, these heavy elements are seeded, spread across the universe. The dust of a ‘nova forms new stars and planets through gravitational attraction. And within these planets, in an infinitesimally small chance, life exists. Some of these lifeforms may evolve intelligence, and some will not.

If you think about it, the atoms in our bodies are literally forged in the cores of the old stars. Stars that died to give us life. I couldn’t have put it more eloquently than Carl Sagan – “we are literally star stuff”

The world is a wondrous place. And it is wonderful to live. Think about it, to think by now, we could have been traveling the stars, traversing across the universe. Instead of squabbling about, humanity could have worked together (even if its Cold War racing situation).

Oh well, here’s a picture of my friends and I, as we mess about the 30 second exposure:

Also, here’s something relevant for you (it has Richard Feynman on bongos!!):

Yesterday I was in the shopping centre. I was seated, staring at people passing by, taking photos of hot Japanese chicks, and contemplating life the universe and everything else (the answer is most obviously 42).

Out of no where, a woman . . . → Read More: Do I Look Like I Work For Optus?]]> I used to work for Optus. Interesting job in the beginning, and shite job towards the end.

Yesterday I was in the shopping centre. I was seated, staring at people passing by, taking photos of hot Japanese chicks, and contemplating life the universe and everything else (the answer is most obviously 42).

Out of no where, a woman who tapped me on the shoulder and started asking me to troubleshoot her Optus phone. Then she asked me about the Optus plans. Then I told her that I no longer worked for Optus, and directed her to the Optus shop that was 2 floors down. I then proceeded to the food court to have the worst pad thai I had in my life.

That was a totally random event that left me wondering… I’m no longer working for Optus, do I look like I carry a sign that says I work for Optus? WTF?

And because you’ve trudged on reading this crap blog update, I’ll reward you with a picture that makes me look like I’m advertising for Paraderm Plus

Today, courtesy of Tyler, I give you another reason why you should just [heart] that fellow. I present you Nicholas Barbon. According to Wikipedia,

Nicholas Barbon (c. 1640 – 1698) (Full name: Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon) was an English economist, physician and . . . → Read More: I [heart] Terry Pratchett]]> Regular readers know I really love Terry Pratchett’s works. I’ve often talked about the great man’s works.

Today, courtesy of Tyler, I give you another reason why you should just [heart] that fellow. I present you Nicholas Barbon. According to Wikipedia,

Nicholas Barbon (c. 1640 – 1698) (Full name: Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon) was an English economist, physician and financial speculator. He is counted among the critics of mercantilism and was one of the first proponents of the free market.

He was born in London in 1640, probably the son of Praise-God Barbon,…

Sounds like a certain Constable Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets no? Interestingly, Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon was also a pampleteer i.e. he visited the infidel with explanatory pamphlets.

So, Terry Pratchett once again pwns and made my day (also, Crazy Puritans and Silkrose).

p/s: Anyone noticed that Brutha wrote the 8th book of the Septateuch (oh yes, this makes as much sense as Book 5 of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy)? There are 8 colors in the Discworld and the Opera ghost who haunts box 7a… hmm..

You see, our spies have located the . . . → Read More: Tin Foil Hat]]> So.. Google launched their own satellite, with a GeoEye 1 camera on board. Think of all the things they can do now. As one commenter on Valleywag said, just attach a Advanced Tactical Laser, and you practically have a low powered Death Star waiting to kill anyone with pinpoint accuracy.

You see, our spies have located the plans for Google’s mind domination.

The data brought to us by the Yahooligan spies pinpoint the exact location of the Google Mind Control Towers¹ (what do you think powers the Google MentalPlex). We also know that their main weapons systems are not yet operational. But most important of all, we have learnt that Larry and Sergei, and Eric and Marissa will be personally overseeing the final parts of this construction.

Many Yahooligans died to bring us information. Admiral Ackbar, please.

Ahem. Admiral Ackbar here. Take evasive actions! Green group, stick close to holding sector MV-7! IT’S A TRAP!

Anyways, we have discovered that Google’s Mind Domination works by using EM-Waves to manipulate our brain. When you feel like searching for porn, its because Google is telling you to look for it.

So, in light (haha) of newfound paranoia, I show you my latest invention: the Tin Foil Hat!

Early tests (shown above) shows that the Tin Foil hat is able to withstand some pretty strong lasers

You could of course, protect your brain by wearing a Faraday cage – that is to say, a bunch of copper mesh. But copper mesh is heavy, so the tin-foil hat would just have to do then. It approximates a Faraday cage, and also, because it’s reflective, if Google decides to use their soon-to-be-attached Tactical Laser on you, you will be able to deflect most of the laser beam away. It might not be able to withstand the heat caused by a giant laser, so some research into some heat proofing materials (think ceramics) would be needed.

Model V, wearing the tin-foil hat. His porn-googling rate dropped by 60% since donning the Tin-Foil hat

Also, the best part is, this tin foil hat will not stop those EM-waves that Google sends to ask you to google for that bondage porn you’ve always wanted to look for – simply because Google sends those waves at a very low frequency², though research has found it to reduce the amount of time you Google for porn, increasing productivity. So, as you can see, the Tin Foil Hat is a benefit!

True, if you wear the tin foil hat out, you’d more likely be spotted by Google’s satellites. But like wearing shiny clothings to a store with infra-red cameras, you’ll appear like a ghost³. Ah, but when Google decides to death star laser you out of the way, you’ll have something to protect you (alternatively you could wear Archemedies’ reflective mirror weapon).

And of course, when you’re done with the tin foil hat, you can use it to bake cake. And then there will be cake. There will be absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.

1. it must be noted that one of Red Alert 2′s engineers used to be good friends with Larry and Sergei, and incorporated their ideas into RA2. Of course, after that, he was never heard of again
2. v = fλ for those who did basic physics, and d = 1/β for those E&E people.
3. proof that I watch way too much CSI. Because obviously that’s nonsense

The former Great Lion of the Clan explains that the fact that the multigrain bread going for almost . . . → Read More: Former White (Bread) Supremacist Goes Multigrain]]> AUSTRALIA – In a dramatic turn of events, former Crustum Candidus Clan chief, Chewxy, has made a 180 degree about-turn and declared the evils of white (bread) supremacy, following sales of discounted multigrain bread in national retailing leader, Coles.

The former Great Lion of the Clan explains that the fact that the multigrain bread going for almost a dollar cheaper than the usual brands of white bread he buys is a major factor in his defection of the Clan. Mr. Chewxy did not specify if other factors were affecting his choice.

Chewxy’s 9 Grain Bread”

“The fact that the 9-grain bread I have chosen to buy being almost a dollar cheaper than the usual Mighty White bread I buy has finally brought me to my senses. I thought to myself – if the 9-Grain bread were so much cheaper, I would get more value for money.”, the former white bread supremacist said, when interviewed. He also added that at this point in time, white bread supremacy is “an utter waste of money”.

Reaction from current Clansmen ranged from disbelief to anger. Many think that this recreancy requires rapid remedy.

“There is no way you can be the Grand Lion of the CCC for one moment and then defect and embrace the multi-grain bread the next”, says a Clansman who was masked and only gave his initials as T.V.

“I can guarantee you that some lynching is due to happen”

Another Clansman, who was also masked and gave his name only as C.F.G.T says that it’s all part of a major conspiracy baked up by the media to mislead people.

“You see, it’s all… part of the plan” he said, while waving his hands in circles wildly.

The former Crustum Candidus Clan chief, Chewxy, however, denied such accusations.

“What rubbish. I believe I have found my true loaf with this multi-grain bread.” he said. He also adds that he is poly-epicurean and consistently eats three to four pieces at one go. “Plus, its good for my alimentary tract”, he adds.

The pie is another under-represented minority in the pastry industry.

His actions have widely been hailed as the first steps in better intertoastal relationship. However, some are cynical about this.

“While we welcome this wonderful vvicissitude, we will watch, and make sure its not just a temporary whim or fancy,” says Martha Ophelia Ma, spokeswoman of the Centre for Equal Leavening, an anti-white bread supremacy group which promotes the equal consumption of different grained baked goods.

Mr. Chewxy cofounded the Crustum Candidus Clan in the early 1970s, and has been a staunch supporter of white bread since. The name literally means White Breadcrumbs Clan in Latin.